Hope in Chicago

written in chicago (mel's place)
Have you read that book, "Hope in Chicago" by Wayne Gordon? Well, turns out that Mel, Dave, and I were in Lawndale today, poking around the area, learning and walking through the place that we all read about. I read that book during MY and it was really inspiring to me. There's a story about how the community decided that they wanted to build a gym for young people to play in (esp. during the cold). So they built it... by hand. The story was really absurd, but amazing because they essentially built it through a lot of sweat, and very little money. There are a lot of stories like that in the book.

I'll back track a little. So far, vacation has been great. I have to say that I'm really greatful to be able to travel, see old friends, new places, and not work. I know that I can become pretty jealous of others ( when they talk about all of their adventures and i'm stuck grinding out life ), so I hope my sentiments don't have the same effects.

I've realized that stepping away and retreating is a really good thing. I really didn't do much of that at all this year. I actually did the opposite: pushed really hard to be present in the community, work flowed into the weekends at times, worked a lot, and schooled a lot too. I think my approach was really off: doing more to find something meaningful as opposed to doing less and finding fresh air, life, and good space to think and sit and be present to myself.

I noticed this too in cleaning up and packing up my stuff. Space is liberating! It was nice to "live" in my room that had: a bed, a desk, a chair and some clothes. There's a correlation between my own messiness/disorganization(sp?)/lack.of.discipline/chaos and the chaos and confusion that creeped into my head this past year. I need to consider this more: putting time into disciplines that help me to have more space: physically and mentally.

Some thoughts to apply: living simpler. This could mean, owning less stuff. It could also mean being more organized and living in a bigger space. Simplicity in some ways is a discipline. Things get crazy/chaotic/messy quickly without much thought.

It's great to be with Dave again. It's really good to be with Melissa too. I've really missed their company, though the connections came in different ways. I'm really proud of my friends. I feel like their lives are inspiring still, and that's been good for me.

Yesterday was a lot of sight seeing: Art institute of Chicago, Gallery 37, wading in the water at the central park, etc. Today we we did a "non-profit" tour. Both days were different but really inspiring in their own ways. I think I'll write more tmw. Good night.

Frankfurters

this is hard. i haven't done this for a while.

okay, here we go.

Happy Birthday Frank Lloyd Wright. Thank you for the Guggenheim Museum even though you never got to see it finished. I've only seen it from the outside, so don't feel too sad. Thanks for continuing to create amazing plans for buildings in spite of the Great Depression. My Great Depression can learn a lot from that. Sorry for confusing you with the other Frank (Gehry) who designed Bilbao's Guggenheim. Yall would be good friends.

My ankle is still slow to recover. I think I ripped both sides of it. The outside is healing up and ready for mobility, but the inside is still really tender and immobile. Things haven't really progressed over the past couple days. So I'm waiting to just walk. I'm still camped out at home, but I wonder if I should just high - tail it back to the apartment. Once injured, I realized how independant I am, and realized that home would be a better place for me in my dependant state. Home still has some hard parts that I've revisited, but all in all, I am in need of support and it's better to climb six stairs as opposed to 26. I'd really like to get back to walking. Yeaaah.

I meant for this time of rest ( no work last week due to injury ) to be a time of personal healing. Shauna mentioned this to me in light of my injury:

I also wanted to elaborate on something I was thinking about as we were praying for your ankle at your place. I've been studying Luke off and on for a while, and one thing that keeps standing out to me when Jesus does a physical healing is that it seems to come with a spiritual and social healing, also. Many of the folks are outcasts because of their physical struggles -- lepers, bleeding women, unclean unclean -- but when Jesus heals them, he also takes the extra step of restoring them into right relationship with their communities. And I was thinking about that when we were praying, not because I don't think you're in right relationship with folks, but because I know that Oakland continues to be a struggle at times. I was wondering what Jesus wants to do with this healing time for you -- what will it mean spiritually? What will it show you about relationships with community? Just something I was musing over and that I think I mentioned in prayer, but it might have sounded weird out of the context of Luke stuff.

So I've been thinking about it, but I haven't really gotten any super good resolutions from all of it. In my mind, I just need one good buddy to be close with here in Oakland. A dude that's kinda on the same page as me, that'll speak truth into my life to encourage, challenge and support the life here. Is that the solution? I don't know. I'm a little scared about my trip to Atlanta in July. I'm totally excited to see old folks, but I'm actually afraid that being there will be really good, and I'll have to really decide if making a move will be good for my soul.

One thing I really like about these weddings and trips down south (Davey Dave married last weekend) is seeing old buddies. It's really really good to have peers, to get personal so quickly and to be comfortable with it. I asked a couple guys last weekend in LA if these friendships/relationships are too much to desire after college. Thoughts went either way. I wonder if it's true: being close and deep just doesn't happen much after those free-flow days in school. Any thoughts on that?

On a side note, here's the summer plan:
July 28th: OAK to ORD (Chicago) to hang out with Melissa and Dave ( Mission Year homies) for a little bit.
Drive down to Atlanta together.
I'll stay for July (they'll leave in a couple days).
Fly to SAN (diego) to meet up with the guys (Costa Verde apt. 3226) and then attend Sanli's wedding.
Hopefully stay in San Diego a little while longer.
Fly back up to Oakland and figure out life again in mid-August.

I'm gonna write more. I'm dead. Serious.

zzz