Goodbyes are Hard

I kind of had a mini melt down. It was really great to see a lot folks who came back for Julie's memorial service. Joshx2, Ames, and the rest of folks, real good to see Joann, and a lot of folks who came out of the bushes. But after all of it, I really felt the weight of it, and it just felt like a lot of goodbyes. Goodbye to Charis going off to college, Goodbye to Julie, Goodbye to all those visiting UCSD friends.

Goodbye doesn't make sense. Badbye. Sadbye.

I jetted over to church after breakfast with Vinny, Ames and Josh. I was looking for something. Maybe to share my sadness and my goodbyes, and I was just a mess. Have you ever sat in a room with a whole bunch of folks and felt like you're on Mars while everyone else is on Earth but you're right there physically with them? I felt that way: in my own world. Floating. Desperate. I shared a bit with Albert and Kristin, but it was just hard. I was said it a couple times: I just want something to work out. If I say that, I'm just grinding and clinging to that hope. The hope that's all I have and clinging on because that's all I've got. I can't wait to spend sometime with Albert to talk. With Avery to talk too.

Once more: Goodbye Julie Chen. Miss you sistah. For Real.